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Photo by Fabian Blank on Unsplash
Photo by Fabian Blank on Unsplash

The first time I got paid for speaking, I got a check for $1,000. I spoke for a half-hour about chasing dreams and shared my story. I deposited the check through the bank app on my phone and kept the paper check. I use it as a bookmark. Because I read every day, it reminds me everyday that I’m able to do things that most people think you can’t. Sometimes I think I can’t even though I did. That’s why I need a constant reminder that I’m not the dip shit my natural mind would like me to think I am.

It seems such a curse, that our natural thinking is negative and self-defeating. It takes work to feel worth it. That work looks like slowing down, breathing and realizing all that you have to offer. Realizing that you’re in fact more than you think you are.

I’m a God person, so I have to slow down and realize I’m loved. I have to slow down and realize I’m worthy of living a life that God would desire me to have. I’ve read the Bible before and it says that Christ came to give life and life to the full.

So, that’s my thing. You have to find your thing that reminds you, that you’re more than worthy of living a good life. I live on God’s promise that I’m worthy of it. Life is a beautiful experience if we allow it to be. Just because there is and has been darkness, that doesn’t mean it’s any less of a beautiful experience.

You don’t deserve only pain, you don’t deserve only disillusionment. You deserve far more than you allow yourself to believe.

Even though, a lot of the time you feel like you’re drowning, you have to find a way to find a spark that keeps your heart alive. Let tough times and difficulties wash over you, but never lose the spark. Never lose that touch of desire to explore and want and expect more from life.

Eventually everything won’t be impossible and you’ll be able to breathe. Eventually.


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