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I've Suffered Enough

Photo by Aayush Kaushik on Unsplash
Photo by Aayush Kaushik on Unsplash

It’s good to come to a place where we realize we’re not alone in our suffering. We’re not alone in depressive thoughts or anxious tension. That’s the power in talking about those things, to realize we face them not by ourselves but alongside of many. And many that are buying into a lie that they’re alone. The reality is, you’re standing in the presence of an army of warriors fighting every day to see light. Just look to your right and left and you will see someone facing the same self-doubt and fear that you face. The power to overcome those illusions is to talk about them. To bring them into the light that destroys their power. But we mustn’t stop the conversation there. The conversation must move beyond, “Yeah, I feel like hell too.”

The reality is that life is not ALL about losses, there are wins as well. We have to talk about those and celebrate those with just as much vigor and verve as we do our broken emotions once we open up about them. The thing with talking about our brokenness is that we can get tripped up and trapped into solely talking about our brokenness and nothing else. Tricky tricky is this depression/anxiety devil.

So, there’s power in bringing those depressive thoughts to light by talking about them with our fellow friends on the frontline but those thoughts don’t go down easy. There will be new comfort in licking our wounds together until that’s all we’re focused on. Comparing scars. Even though the depressive thoughts don’t hold as much power as before because we’ve exposed them, they still hypnotize us to focus on them. So, it’s damn important to shift the conversation into the positive direction of realizing life is more than suffering. It’s more than darkness. It’s more than bitterness. Lies. Hate. Bullshit. Assholes. And poison ivy.

Let’s start new conversations after we’ve been honest about our battles and decide that we’ve suffered enough. I walked through hell, my mind went off the rails, I was depressed, anxious, sad, and never thought I’d crawl out. But I crawled out. And so did you. That’s worth celebrating. I’m not going to relive and remind myself consistently, constantly, and incessantly of the ashes I’ve risen from. A life I once knew burned to the ground, but I am new because of it. I will talk about the past passively, it’s no longer my reality.

When you’ve suffered enough,

And your spirit is breaking,

You’re growing desperate from the fight

Remember you’re loved,

And you always will be,

This melody will bring you right back home”

Those lyrics are from the song, “The Messenger” by LINKIN PARK. They obviously inspired this post and the song can be found here. Life can really do a hell of a number on us. I mean, it can feel like a relentless beating. Just bashed to the ground. And we look pristine. We look like we couldn’t be better. A lot of the battle is on the inside. It’s behind that big smile and those hugs. He says something important in those lyrics; “remember you’re loved and you always will be.” We have to remember and actively think on the good parts of life, like the fact that we’re loved and needed. The lyrics also say, “and you always will be“, which is beautiful and true but it’s in our hands to “always will be” by reminding ourselves we’re loved. The melody brings us home. Home; a place of refuge. Warm. A place to heal our wounds from battle. A place to love our families. A place, among many, where we are loved. The melody reminding me I’m loved always brings me back home. Especially when the battle rages on in my mind. A melody to calm the winds and bring beautiful breath-giving clarity.

Remember, you are loved. That’s big.


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