Letting your mind get wrapped up in lies about yourself is a really dangerous place to be. Actually, it’s the MOST dangerous place to be. I was there for at least the past year. Not to sound dramatic but it’s a miracle I didn’t have an actual full on mental breakdown. In fact, I may have had one but just didn’t fully recognize/accept it.
I do recall saying to the girl I was dating at the time, “I’ve never felt so close to having a breakdown than I do right now.” When I came back to Pittsburgh from Los Angeles, I was definitely a broken man and my mind was completely bound. It really wasn’t until a couple of weeks ago, November 18th to be exact, that I finally felt that boundedness released. I was actually listening to T.D. Jakes and it was like he was doing a straight up deliverance on me (if you’re unfamiliar with what that is, just google it.)
Now before I lose any readers, I always have and always will write in a way that is attainable for anyone who is reaching for something true. I say my writing is true because the words manifest within my heart and I expose them in the clearest way I know how. My writing is as true as I can be. When I refer to things bigger than me that have made things incredible happen in my life, I acknowledge that as God. You can call it the Universe, Your Higher Self, or whatever helps you understand the truth that I hope seeps into you through these writings.
So I would hope that everyone keeps reading even if I use words like God, deliverance, or T.D. Jakes. Now back to my point. After listening to this audio and feeling the releasing grip on my mind, I knew I was alive again. That bound-mind had me dead for over a year. (Why do you think my blogging has become so frequent as of late? It’s because I’m alive again.) One of the lies I was buying into was that I don’t have anything useful to share. I almost want to laugh out loud at that because of who I know myself to be. I wouldn’t have a heart overflowing with words and the desire to share them if they held no value. At least value for even one person is enough. Even if that one person is me.
The thought of why do I think I’m so special? I have these words and ideas to share but who cares? Who needs them? No one can use them? They’re as worthless as the writer.
It feels good to reclaim your mind and tell darkness to piss off.
You are the one in charge of your mind and the thoughts that you present to it. You have to do EVERYTHING YOU CAN TO RECLAIM OWNERSHIP OF YOUR MIND. Do whatever it takes.
There is nothing like being alive… again.