Thank God I have a choice with who I get to have in my life. Because, at the first sign that someone sucks, I can just stop texting them back! It’s amazing and simple!
It’s also somewhat shocking when you start something new with your life and out of no where come the doubters and straight-up haters. It’s especially shocking when they come out of your own corner. At one time they were cheering you on and a source of incredible encouragement. Now… they sap you of energy and want to rip your dream to shreds.
If you want to survive the game of chasing your heart, you have to recognize when this is happening. If someone hates on me and I don’t even know them, it does little to affect me. When it’s someone that’s been in my life forever because we have the same blood… that can get to me. But only if I let it.
It’s not only brave to run after your heart and your vision but it takes just as much bravery to tell those that are pulling you down to stop calling you. And the fact is, I’m human so it’s going to get to me when someone I love turns out to be a shithead. I just have to recognize that the longer I remain in the company of that person, the toxicity increases and my motivation to pursue heart-matters decreases. I need to ask myself a simple question: Is it more important to have this person a persistent fixture in my life or is my heart more important? As obvious an answer as that may be, most people choose to remain in a symbiotic relationship that is far less symbiotic and much more parasitic.
Don’t mix up tough love with hatred. Tough love is still an encouragement but it holds with it the reminder that you’re human. The reminder that the task ahead is difficult. The reminder that you will need to rise above who you currently are to get there. Hatred simply reminds you that you should remain on the level that is neither above nor below the hater. Simply remain with them. Remain stagnant. Remain growth-less.
I’ve personally had to get rid of a lot of negative people in my life, even versions of myself (both are continual battles.) But, in clearing out those that served only a purpose of destruction, I’ve made room for those that have taken on the role of wonderful architect. Challenging me to be better. Encouraging me to reach higher. Believing in me to be more.
The reciprocity that is found in a relationship focused on growth will always bring the life, joy, and peace that your toxic addiction never will. And it is an addiction. But you can get clean. Just stop hanging out with dirt balls.