I’ve written about it before when I was in the final stretch of finishing my Biology degree and I was down to the final five weeks before I graduated. I was way over it. It took me five years to get to those last five weeks and I was fully ok with throwing in the towel. I was beyond burned out. Its like the ashes got caught on fire twice. That’s the kinda burned out I’m talking about.
I’m thankful when I told some close friends my plan to abandon ship and they looked at me like I was nuts and told me I was nuts and convinced me I was nuts if I went through with it.
I’ve been feeling this same kind of burned out lately. I spent the last year and a half learning a new business that I anticipated would bring me riches upon riches. It did not bring me riches upon riches, at least not in the sense of money. It’s hard to regret doing something that brought amazing people and relationships into your life. My good friend Bart Stokes being one of those people. One of the biggest and strongest hearts I’ve ever known. It’s an honor to just know him let alone call him a brother.
So with having experiences that are great meeting the reality of feeling as though you’re no further along on that path of your defined success leaves you confused. But what is your definition of success you might ask? … I’ve done things I’m more than extremely proud of, some things I’ve even surprised myself by. My point is that I thought I found an opportunity that would pull my wallet from the depths of debt and it didn’t. In fact, it pushed it even further into the abyss. People can say all day long that money isn’t going to make you happy or that it isn’t important. But money is the reason 85% of America wakes up to do work they hate. So money is important. Especially if what it takes for you to get it puts you in a hole of depression and anxiety and you regret it.
Does it really pay to be brave and not do what you hate? Does it really pay to leave everything behind to chase some crazy ass vision no one can see but you? When you’ve tasted failure after failure, detour after detour, the road just looks too damn long and the sour lingers a little too long.
Essentially you eventually come to a place where you sit back and wonder how much you gotta do before you get paid for being brave.
Maybe I’ve been listening to too much Eminem lately but damn I’m pissed and beyond ready to win.
And everything is rhyming, maybe I’m just whining 🙂