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Staying Stagnant and Miserable Does Not Just Eventually Turn Into Joy

Photo by Someus Christopher on Unsplash
Photo by Someus Christopher on Unsplash

Why would you move back here?

That’s the same question I used to ask when I’d meet someone that either moved back to Pittsburgh or to Pittsburgh from somewhere else. I’d ask that question especially poignantly if the move was from California. It’s kind of funny to be on the other side of the question now. It’s better to be on this side for a number of reasons.

When someone asks me the question that I have asked so many before my big move there (California) and then my big move back (Pittsburgh), I want to ask the person what’s holding them back.

Their question is typically rooted in a disdain for where they currently live or their desire to live somewhere else. At least that was the case for me. I actually hated living in Pittsburgh. After every visit to California I’d come home and sit in a weeklong state of depression.

The person asking this type of question to Pittsburgh newbies or return-ies (that’s not a word) comes from their need to go explore some new places. The remedy for hating the place where you’re at is to go to a new place. You might stay in that new place or come back to your old place and see that it the old place has somehow become new. Somehow you like that it’s dark at 5pm. Somehow you like the gray skies and brisk winds. Somehow you like the dead quiet of a night when snow muffles any sounds so much so that the quiet brings you peace.

Staying stagnant and miserable does not just eventually turn into joy.

I wrote in my Sunday Night Newsletter, which you can only get if you’re a subscriber to the Newsletter *wink wink*, that our goal is to really find the thing or things we love to do that can afford us a life we desire to live at the cost of minimal moments of drudgery and outnumbering moments of fulfillment, joy, and purpose.

That’s not just applicable to our jobs and work but also to where we decide to live. Most people do not venture far from their hometown. Most people do not venture far from familiarity. Most people do whatever they can to stay how they are, no matter how much they hate it.

The real question that I ask myself rather than why did I come back is actually… why did I go?


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