Sometimes I wonder and almost fear what will happen if I run out of material. I mean, I’ve put a ton of work into building websites, gaining readers, and putting out books and blogs with the promise of putting out more. I guess it’s a fear of letting people down.
A good friend mentioned the other day that I wasn’t posting as much. My response was, “I guess I don’t have anything to say.” Though, what’s really going on behind the scenes in the life of Mark Craven, if you’re wondering, well one of the things at least, is that I’m planning on finishing a novel. The idea for it hit me a couple of years ago and I’m finally putting pen to paper. Much like my first book, Choice and Triumph, which I’d written and rewritten several times over the period of a few years, this book seems to have the same fate. However, very much unlike my first book or any of the books that followed it, this is a fictional story with different worlds and crazy names.
I think the value in having a blog as a writer is it encourages you to remain transparent and still as connected with all of your writing as possible. I’m noticing that as I’m writing this novel there almost seems to be a separation of self. As if you’re the great flawless storyteller. This blog helps remind me of my flaws and challenges me to look beyond them. If I can see through the illusions intent on derailing my purpose and I can write about it, hopefully that can help you see through yours. Doubt and fear are smoke and mirrors. Our greatest power and their greatest flaw is exposure. Funny to think that fear has a flaw, but it does.
The title for this blog is how I was beginning to see myself. Fear was setting up illusory images of a writer without anything to write about… an imaginative man who lost his imagination. And maybe there will come a time when my creative drive shifts gears and moves into another direction, but so long as I’m creating I’m living.
As the story grows in this new novel I’ll share more about it but until then I’ll leave you with a quick dialogue between two of the main characters:
“Why do you sign the paintings, ‘Jophial’?” Sara smiled with warm eyes and said, “That’s the name of the archangel who helps us see the beauty that’s all around. Her name means ‘God’s beauty’. I believe she’s the one that guides and has always guided many brushstrokes.” “Aryn, I’ve told you dozens of times the reason I sign the paintings in this name.” “You did, but I just like to hear you describe it. It’s almost like listening to your favorite song. I know what you’re going to say, but every time it somehow sounds and seems so new.” “How did I ever find someone like you, Aryn?” “You were the shooting star that created a constellation of all of my dreams. And I was just lucky enough to catch a shooting star,” he replied. “You always say that,” she smirked. “Well, you always ask.” Sara gazed thoughtfully at him and said, “It’s my favorite song.”